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The Fictitious Story of Lazy Bob


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By Keon Abedi, Contributor

Once upon a time, there was a young child named Bill, who attended Winston Churchill Middle School. Bob considered himself unique, which in fact was true, for he had the lowest grades in the whole school. While others thought it was because he was unintelligent and should be held back for at least 10 years, the actual reason for his academic failure was because he had laziness disease, a deadly disease common in children of the younger generation. The disease prevented him from doing work for more than 2 minutes at a time without getting highly bored, and unfortunately the disease was thought of being incurable, making Bob feel even more resigned to his fate. Bob never did his homework due to his condition, so one day, when a teacher realized that Bob, whom he nicknamed Lazy Bob, had once again not done any of his homework or projects, Bob was sent outside for the rest of the school day, even though there was a thunderstorm going on outside. As punishment, Bob was forced to endure the rain for the rest of the day, even after school ended, and was not allowed to eat lunch. This continued for a week, and his teacher warned him on Friday that if he didn’t do his project by the time he came back from break, he would still be forced to sit outside, even if there was a hurricane. Bob was horrified by the prospect, and angered by the fact that his own laziness was responsible, so he decided to try his best to not become lazy. Every day, Bob would do his best to wake up before 11:00 AM, do his homework for at least 20 minutes a day, and attempt to make himself a generally more principled person. Over time, Bob made himself more and more principled, and one day, when he went to his room to do some homework, he realized that while it wasn’t preferable to do, it no longer seemed to be an impossible or completely mentally crippling task. Bob realized that he had found his own cure to his severe laziness, and for the rest of his life he became a responsible and happy person, who eventually replaced his teacher as a job just for revenge. Bob stopped being lazy and a procrastinator and became a successful and happy type of person.

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